How Negative Self-Talk Impacts Your Mental Health (and 4 Steps to Turn It Around)

Your mental health affects every part of your life — from your relationships and work performance to your motivation in the gym. But what happens when the biggest threat to your mental health isn’t something external, but instead it’s your own inner voice?

At 10.40.10 Fitness, we know that negative self-talk is one of the sneakiest ways that we can sabotage ourselves. If you’ve ever struggled with it, you know that it can eat away at your confidence, distort your perspective, and over time, chip away at your overall mental well-being.

The good news is that you can rewire that voice — and you don’t have to do it alone. Today, we’re diving into what negative self-talk looks like in everyday situations, how it affects your mental health, and four practical steps to start taking control of your mindset.

How Negative Self-Talk Affects Your Mental Health

There’s a line in a song from Matthew West that goes a little something like this:

“Hello, my name is defeat.

I’m sure you recognize me.

Just when you think you can win,

I drag you right back down again,

’til you’ve lost all belief.”

Any seasoned negative self-talker will tell you they feel those lyrics in their soul.

Some people have the luxury of walking around every day with self talk that’s actually positive and encouraging. ‘Come on self, you’re incredible. You know you can do better than that. Keep on keeping on, you magical being, you.’

But then there are those that are blessed with the ability to absolutely beat the crap out of themselves mentally, until their ego is lying in the fetal position and sucking its thumb. If that’s you, it’s crucial that you understand the ability negative self-talk has to destroy your mental health. And the truth is, it’s as important to focus on this as much as you do on your physical health.

What the Mental Spiral Looks Like in Training

If you’re unsure about what a typical training day might look like for someone who struggles with negative self-talk, let’s take a look at our hypothetical friend, Bob. Note that we’re using training as the situation but remember that this process doesn’t have to be used only for training. It can often show up in many areas of your life, like career, relationships, nutrition, addiction, etc.

So here we go:

1. Bob sets an absolutely unrealistic expectation that every day, he’ll magically have perfect technique on all of his lifts. He’ll be able to lift substantially more than he ever has before.
2. He starts the negative self-talk in his warm-up but keeps it upbeat: ‘Wow, I don’t feel as strong as I thought I would today. That’s ok, I’ll do my best, even though my best is pretty average, if not sub-par. Remember that it’s a process.’
3. At the start of Bob’s training session, he focuses more on the things he’s gotten wrong instead of the things he did right. This keeps his mental health right where it’s always been.
4. Bob then serves himself some big, delicious negative sandwiches. You’ve heard of the positive sandwich, right? It’s constructive criticism sandwiched between two positive things. Bob does the opposite of that: ‘That lift sucked really bad but it’s ok because I have a great personality but I’m worthless when it comes to lifting.’
5. For the remainder of the training session, he completely neglects his ability to brush things off. You know that round of golf (or every round of golf) where your short game is terrible but each tee box offers a new opportunity to turn this ship around? That’s golf. This is lifting. And Bob reminds himself that he sucks at lifting.
6. To create the perfect downward spiral for his mental health, Bob keeps reminding himself how much he sucks at lifting throughout the entire class. He uses key phrases that are customized for him, just to hit his own buttons.
7. Finally, Bob finds a way to end his training session on a bad note. He makes giant red X’s in his training log for any lifts that he missed. And he even adds notes about just how bad the experience was, so he’ll remember it when he shows up next time.

Now, if you don’t suffer from negative self-talk, you might imagine this scenario to be ridiculous. But unfortunately, it’s all too common in various areas of life. In fact, the smiling, happy person next to you in class might be fighting mental health battles you’ve never imagined.

That’s one of the reasons we have the “Don’t be an A-hole” list at 10.40.10 Fitness. Be kind.

4 Steps to Defeat Negative Self-Talk and Improve Mental Health

So, as delightful as it is to feel these levels of soul-crushing mental health defeat, it’s critical that we work on it. The bad news is that it’s not as easy as just deciding to do it and then succeeding. Like most things, there has to be a plan with achievable steps to get there.

But the good news is that - just like physical training - you can trust the process to get you there. The people who love you want you to be happy and healthy, and you deserve that life, too. Here are four steps to get started:

1. Set Clear Goals for Your Mental Health

Did you know that actually setting goals significantly increases your chances of achieving them?

That might sound obvious but check this out: A Harvard Business School study asked MBA students if they had set goals for their futures, along with plans to accomplish them. Only three percent had. Ten years after the study, those three percent were making 10 times as much money as the other 97% combined. (Source: Set Yourself on Fire by Phil Taylor)

2. Define What Success Looks Like

When it comes to setting goals for yourself, be specific. Instead of “losing weight,” try something like, “I’m going to lose twenty pounds by attending four classes per week at 10.40.10 Fitness and tracking my nutrition macros.”

Oh, and add this one to your list: ‘I’m going to stop being an a-hole to myself.’

3. Acknowledge That This is Hard Work

Give yourself some grace. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way…

4. Take Action Today with 3 Simple Steps

Goals without a plan are just wishful thinking, right? So it’s important to make a plan for accomplishing the goals you’ve set for yourself. For example:

1. ‘I will turn my negative mental health sandwiches into positive ones.’
2. ‘As soon as the negative self-talk jerk appears in my mind, I will visualize punching it right in the face and then reminding myself that I am capable.’
3. ‘I will find motivational quotes to replace the negative self-talk during my training sessions, or I’ll remind myself how far I’ve come in this journey.’ Need help? Don’t forget to rely on your gym community at 10.40.10 Fitness. We’re here for you.

Note that this isn’t one of those, “It’s simple, just do this” blog posts. The magnitude of overcoming a mental health hurdle like this is pretty massive. If you struggle in this area, you know that some of us can say some really unbelievable shit to ourselves in our own heads. Things we wouldn’t say to our enemies, let alone someone we care about.

The key is taking it one little step at a time, because that’s the only way it’s possible. Over time, we will learn to appreciate the process and the truly incredible things we’re capable of.

Taking Care of Your Mental Health at 10.40.10 Fitness

At 10.40.10 Fitness, we know that true fitness goes far beyond physical strength. Our community supports your mental health just as much as your body — because you can’t have one without the other.

Whether you’re looking for an encouraging environment, accountability or simply a place where you feel supported, we’ve got your back. Every rep, every class, every moment of effort builds more than just muscle — it builds resilience, confidence and belief in yourself.

Ready to start improving your mental health, one workout at a time? Come see how training in a positive, uplifting environment can change more than just your fitness. Book your free intro session today at 10.40.10 Fitness.